Liam pecked Charlie near the ear whispering in a very slightly husky voice: "'Cause you're even more irresistible. Don't you know that much?"

Charlie smiled at the ticklish feeling of breath on his ear. "Nope, I didn't know that. Why would I?" He said, turning to kiss Liam full on the mouth.

Liam held his breath for a moment before carefully, softly and so not pushing running his tongue over Charlie's lips. He didn't care that they were still quite in public, the only thing bothering him was the little space in the car.

Charlie drew back, sensing Liam's hesitation. "We can't. Well, we shouldn't. We should just either go home or go back to that bar..." He said, trailing off. He didn't know what he wanted really. But he didn't really want it to turn into sex.

Liam smiled softly at his brother. "We never should have but did." he said with a wink. "But you're right. So what would you rather do? Go back to the bar and get drunk to forget that dreadful night?"

Charlie smiled widely. "Sounds like a plan to me." He said, a bit cheekily. Then he paused, demeanor changing. "Your not too disappointed, are you?"

Liam shook his head smiling. "Naw, don't be stupid Baby!" he said, though he might have been lying a very slightly bit. Since John his sex life has been kind of non-existent. But he would rather enjoy the memory of those soft, novel kisses than rush and force Charlie into anything. Those kisses were worth so much more.

"Maybe one day, soon we can indulge again." Charlie said, thoughtfully. His thoughts drifted to Claire. "Just not right now. I'm sorry Liam. I'll pay for our rounds tonight, will that make us square?"

"Ey, you don't have to do that! There’s nothing why we'd have to get square, Charlie! And don't be fucking sorry! Okay? Anyways, I wouldn't like to try to seduce you, now that I know I could end up beaten up." Liam smiled cheekily.

Charlie smiled, gulping. "Very well, let’s go though. We've been sitting here far too long. Lets go and get pissed, I haven't done it in far too long, and either have you from what I've heard."

"Nope, not in... five years?" Liam said raising an eyebrow. "So it might be a cheep night" he laughed.

"Maybe for you, but not for me." He said, jokingly. "I still have the tolerance of a full blown Scotsman, will German and Irish in his blood as well!"

"Good thing I didn't say I'd pay for you, then." Liam laughed sticking out his tongue at Charlie.

"Very funny. Ha. ha." He laughed sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "You are silly beyond words." He kept up, still sarcastic.

Liam pouted playingly. "Aww, come on, admit it! That's why you love me!" he said and finally re-started the car.

"Just drive you fucking wanker." Charlie said, looking out onto the road.

"That's what I'm doing, bozo!" Liam replied blowing Charlie an air kiss.

"BOZO?" Charlie said incredulously. "BOZO??? How dare you. I should get out this car right now, you... you... prick! How dare you compare me to a disgusting clown. Just because I have a big nose..." He covered said nose with his hand self consciously.

Liam started laughing hard. His brother's reaction was prizeless! He just hoped Charlie wasn't really offended or would be by his laughing. “I love your nose! You should feel honored!"

"Some way of showing it, comparing me to some bleeding American clown. Honored is the last thing I feel, you wanker. Drive faster. I wish to be rid of you." He said jokingly, still covering his nose. "Now I've got to get a nose job..."

"Well if you want to get rid of me so badly I could take you back to the prison and claim back the caution." Liam suggested. "Naw, sorry Charlie. I'm really sorry! Didn't mean to offend you."

Charlie laughed, and started fiddling with the radio. "How can you not have music on? You call yourself a musician..." He found some Kinks and turned up the volume. "Here we go..."

Liam rolled his eyes. "Kinks? Oh please Charlie!" He turned down the volume. "I'm so not in the mood for them now." It didn't mean he didn't like them at all, he did and Charlie knew that, but it was some really mood-depended thing whether he could listen to them or not.

Charlie frowned dramatically. "Wanker." He fiddled with the radio again, but when he couldn't find anything else to his fancy he went back to the Kinks, and kept the volume low. "So what's so great about this bar you're taking me to?"

"Hmmm." Liam was thinking. Why did his brother always need a reason? "It's one of the few the tourists haven't taken over yet." he said with a wink. "And: it's one of the most British that are still around here, on the other side of the world."

"Well, in that case, drive faster." Charlie laughed, tapping his fingers on the dashboard. "I'm hungry too. Didn't eat dinner tonight."

"You shouldn't skip dinner, bro, or any meal, just think of your bony appearance! I should talk to Claire to take more care of you!" Liam replied.

"Nah, it wasn't her fault, I was at the studio for dinner tonight and just forgot to eat. Happens a lot. Probably the reason I don't gain weight, eh?"

"Yeah, maybe! Maybe I... naw." he stopped kind of midsentence. He had been about to say 'I should come to the studio too to make sure you don't forget to eat' but somehow he just couldn't it was like mentioning a studio and himself in one sentence would be the same as to admit missing making music with Charlie. He did though.

"Maybe you what?" Charlie said, drumming faster. "The next album is going slower than I'd like it to, I just can't figure out why it’s not satisfying me..."

"No, I... nothing! Forget it!" Liam tried to get away with. He nearly hated Charlie for mentioning the progress of his album. Liam as itching to at least help him, but he had sworn to never get back into this business.

Charlie simply raised an eyebrow, not speaking. He looked out the window again, sighing inwardly. His brother must miss the music, how could he not? He was a Pace, for God's sake.

Liam sighed heavily. "We're there." he announced pulling the car up. "Charlie," he began when the car stood still. "erm, don't get me wrong, but - oh fuck - would you want me to listen to what you've got so far? Maybe I could try help you..." Liam felt stupid after having said this.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. It seemed such a simple request, but he knew it meant a lot more to Liam and himself than it would seem. He paused, chewing his lip. He'd like Liam's advice, yes, but he didn't want to pull him into it entirely. But surely, one listen couldn't do him any harm, could it? "Yeah, that'd be ok. I'd appreciate it actually. Thanks, Li."

"You're welcome, bro." Liam replied. He just hoped it wouldn't be to awkward to go back to a studio. Even if it wasn't actively what he'd do, it was still working in a studio wasn't it? He easily could get back into the business, but he didn't actually want to. Apart from working/being with Charlie it was connected to too many bad memories.

Charlie stepped out of the car, pondering his brother's question. Nothing really said he had to take his brothers ideas, not like before. This was more Liam giving his opinion, which Charlie could, or could not take to heart.

Liam slightly sighed again. Then he got of the car as well and locked the car. When he looked at the door of the bar he realized just how much nearer he was about to get to the past now.

Charlie saw the look on his brother's face. "Li, you don't have to drink you know. We don't have to go here at all. We could just go find a diner or something and eat, we don't have to go here. I don't mind really." He said, trying to comfort Liam

Liam looked at Charlie, kind of skeptically. "Naw!" he then said with a weird smile. "We said we wanted to forget that jail crap and get drunk, didn't we? So let's go. And don't worry about your diner, they have nice snacks."

Charlie grumbled something about not being worried about his dinner, just his brother's comfort. Still, he followed Liam into the bar, inhaling the smoky dimness that it was.

Liam led Charlie to some booth before he went to the bar ordering them two beer. He just didn't want to sit in the public at the bar tonight; That's what he felt least like.

Charlie looked around the place, noting the dim lighting and musty atmosphere of the bar. It was no grade A bar, but it had a sense of class about it. He didn't know how Liam knew of it, though, if he hadn't had anything to drink for 5 years.

Liam came back with their beer noticing Charlie looking around. "You look kind of suspicious Charlie, what is it?"

"How do you know this place, Li?" He asked, taking the top off his beer and taking a long swig. "Seeing as you've been sober for a half a decade?"

"They even serve water, imagine that Charlie!" he laughed before he took a deep breath. "Well, that's... where I'd met Sawyer." He never really wanted this to be known by Charlie but now it was said and he couldn't make it unhappen.

Charlie paused from taking another sip to simply say "Ah" before taking another long gulp. His first beer was almost done. Funny how that happens...

Liam looked at Charlie's glass and at his. He hadn't even had a sip yet. He slid his glass over to his brother. He had lost his appetite for it, he only felt all guilty now, although that had been before he had known of Sawyer's torturing Charlie.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Changed your mind? Don't tell me he got you out of the mood. That'd give him too much credit." Charlie said, refusing to touch the beer.

"Guess it rather is my conscience, than him. I'd never give him any credit", Liam replied, staring with slightly unseeing eyes at the glass until he finally took it back and emptied it with two or three big gulps.

Charlie paused, eyebrows raised completely, glass halfway to his lips. He snorted a laugh at the look on his brother's face, "You are ridiculous."

Liam slammed the glass back onto the table. "Fine, maybe I am, but I so don't mind!"

Charlie laughed, going back to the bar, this time ordering two shots for himself and another beer for Liam. Couldn't get him too wasted, now could he? He did have to drive home.

Liam already felt a bit dizzy. Gulping down a beer that fast after 5 years of no alcohol at all wasn't the best idea he ever had.

Charlie sat back down, laughing at his brother. "Well, that wasn't your finest moment, I don't think. Maybe you should take it easy, bro, don't want to overdo yourself. Or return to old ways." He added as an afterthought.

Charlie was too right about the old ways; Liam felt himself being too near already. "Yeah, I know." he just stated, only now thinking of Karen and her being not very pleased smelling him having a reek of the bottle.

Charlie kept the bottle of beer away from Liam, letting him digest the first one. He knocked back one of his shots, barely wincing as it went down. "Its been an interesting night, no?"

"Definitely! I guess I didn't have such an interesting night in ages." Liam laughed. "Apart from that one thing I wouldn't mind more of those."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You’re already not making sense. Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore." He laughed, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Or maybe I should drink more often so one single beer wouldn't knock me down." Liam smiled. Or maybe he should've never again touched it. But it was too late now and he knew exactly that this wasn't something to be proud of.

Charlie wasn't about to let his brother's hard work go to waste. He wouldn't give him the next beer for a while. Maybe a half an hour. Even if he had to distract him somehow. He looked out at the floor of dancers. Not many were out but he didn't exactly want to go parade out there with his brother.

"What the hell are you looking at? You won't get me to dance! no fucking way!"

Charlie laughed. "Don't worry, I'm not in the mood either." He said, running his finger over the rim of his shot glass. "Remember what it was like to be one of those people? Those happy, careless couples that only saw each other in a crowd? I miss those days." He trailed off, thinking.

Liam wasn't sure if Charlie was referring to themselves, or if he was referring to him being with Sin and him being with Karen in the beginning. Maybe it was just his dizziness why he couldn't get it straight. "Seem like an eternity away." he said neutrally.

"Do you remember the highschool years? Seems like fucking forever. I remember the first date I went on with a bloke, it was so awkward." Charlie laughed, remembering the blind fumbling at the movies, blushing and kissing despite people's annoyance.

"Seems like a former life." Liam said - kind of truthfully. He tried to remember his own first date ever with a girl. He wasn't sure though which of those plenty girls was the first. He had never been a good and faithful lover. "Can't even remember my first date." he laughed halfheartedly.

"I can remember my first date with a girl too... now that was awkward! She was one of the popular girls, horny as fuck, and first thing she did when we got into the car at the end of the night was try to rip my shirt off!" Charlie laughed, remembering the lass. He hadn't given in to her, and she'd forgotten about him the next week. She had had 2 kids by the time she left highschool.

"Wasn't that the one who was just everyone's?" Liam tried to recall. Well, he had been everyone's too actually, but he had been the rock god, it had been his business. "I had her once too, if I recall right. But luckily over a year before her first brat."

"Basically, yeah, she had fucked everyone at school within weeks of her being there. Personally, I find that repulsive, but then, I'd slept with every gay guy in school by the time I graduated."

Liam laughed. Well, why shouldn't be girls allowed to be like themselves? The problem only was, that they could get pregnant, but well, that was their problem, not the boys'. At least not his or Charlie's. "At least you couldn't knock them up."

"No, but I could've gotten AIDS or something horrible. I was so stupid then. Rarely used condoms, I just didn't think about the consequences. But that’s what beeing a teen is all about, isn’t it?"

"I thought I've taught you at least one useful thing. But now I think I was wrong." Liam laughed remembering that one implanting day some days before his 18th birthday. He had told Charlie to always use condoms that same day when they had compared their cock sizes and when Charlie had found his secret book with their photographs.

"Yeah, well, that was after I'd already been with a few guys." Charlie laughed, a bit unnerved at the conversation, but as long as it stayed light, he was fine.

"Well well well, it's long gone anyway and you didn't get it, luckily." Liam smiled softly. "Or is there something you should tell me?" he grinned slightly.

Charlie coughed suspiciously before laughing it off. "Just joking mate. No worries, I'm clean. Clean as a freshly polished diamond without all the shininess."

"Very good. But without? You're sure?" Liam didn't continue, for he was sure Charlie knew how Liam thought about him.

Charlie looked at his skin hard, as if expecting it to grow tenticals. "Hmmmm..." he said, very seriously. "It doesn't look too shiny to me, what say you?" He tried very hard not to laugh.

Liam chuckled. "Well, some parts might need some polishing some time", he laughed, trying to grab the bottle from Charlie.

Charlie easily moved the bottle away, still staring at his skin like nothing had happened. "WAIT! If you look at it at this angle delay, the light catches it." He smiled. "Hm, maybe I am a wee bit shiny."

"You're mean, that's all." Liam growled. "Why'd you get the beer in the first place? Did you want to polish you with it?"

"Ooooh! Good idea!" Charlie said, spreading the freezing condensation on his arms. It immediately raised goose bumps on his arms, but also produced a sheen.

Liam looked at Charlie, shaking his head and making some face. "You're so silly. But shiny."

"Yup." Charlie said, nodding with the music. "I pride myself in both my shininess and my silliness."

"Come on, give me the beer, will you? Or do you want it to get bad or warm? It'd be such a waist." Liam tried without success. "Fine, I'd know some use for warm beer though, but you denied that tonight. So?"

"So I'm not letting you get wasted on your first night out. Besides, you have to drive us home. I'm not risking that. You don't get this for a while."

Liam sighed defeatedly. He propped his head on his hands. He started getting tired. It's been a long, exhausting night and he had been up early because of John. "Why don't you just drink it then? I think I don't want it anyway." He asked his brother.

"Because I'm going to let you have it eventually, just not straight away." Charlie said, popping his other shot. He wasn't even feeling fuzzy yet. Oh, tolerance, how he loved it.

Liam wrinkled his nose. His brain was telling him it would be better not to drink it anyway. But if Charlie wouldn't drink it himself it would really be a waist, wouldn't it?

Charlie lifted an eyebrow. "Unless you don't want it. Then you don't have to have it at all"

Liam thought for a short moment then looked at Charlie and shook his head. "No, really, you can have it", he said.

Charlie shrugged, opening it. He took a swig, and set it down. He looked back out onto the dance floor. Some nice looking guys out tonight...

"Do you want to go there?" Liam asked nodding at the direction of the dance floor. "Go, I'd just wait."

"That’s not very polite. I'm supposed to be here with my brother, not dancing with guys I'm not supposed to like." He said, shifting to look at his brother. "I'm not just gonna leave you to sit here by your lonesome."

"Aww, you're so nice!" Liam laughed. "Nah, am really appreciating that. I think I'm too much on my own lately, unless you count a two month old as real company."

Charlie winced. "That doesn't sound good. If you'd like, you could bring the lad over to Claire, and hang with her. She complains that I'm at the studio too much, though I'm really there only a few hours a day." He smiled. That’s what love was. He suddenly felt dirty for looking at the other guys on the dance floor. Old habits die hard.

Liam didn't regret that he chose to take parental leave, he loved being a dad and he loved his kids. But sometimes it seemed just like he didn't see any other people. "You sure she wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not. Now, you might have to join her somedays, just to keep her company, but she loves the boy, don't worry about that." Charlie said, taking another drink.

"Well, as long as keeping her company means I'd have company myself I don't see why it should bother me. I'd be glad to do it. Thanks." Liam said smiling softly.

Charlie started fidgeting again. He fidgeted more now that he was clean than he ever did on drugs or withdrawal. He could see why Claire still looked at him suspiciously.

Liam raised an eyebrow. "Would you mind going home after that," he asked pointing at Charlie's drink. "I'm feeling pretty knackered."

Charlie drained it quickly. "Not at all, mate." He started to stand, ready to go, shifting his coat onto his shoulders. "Shall we?"

Liam stood up slowly, not wanting to risk feeling dizzy again - he still had to drive! "Woah, now that was quick, bro. Yeah, let's go."

Charlie tried to make a manly grunting noise. "Tolerance of steel!" He said, marching to the door. He bumped into one lad, hand hitting just where it shouldn't, but the guy didn't seem to mind. He just raised an eyebrow as Charlie passed him, winking.

Liam came closer to Charlie, close enough to whisper into his ear. "We said we'd go home right? Not that you should start flirting."

Charlie laughed, swatting Liam playfully. "I'm not! That was the 'I'll see you next week, this time' look, not the 'meet me in the back alley in 5 minutes' look."

"Yeah? Well, should I tell Claire where you're going to be next week or is there any bribe you could offer?" Liam asked grinning and sticking his tongue at Charlie.

Charlie feigned hurt, putting on the famous puppy face. "You wound me. Really. You hurt me..." he pointed to his heart, sighing deeply.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have let me drink that beer, I'm certifiably insane; my true me would never do that." Liam grinned and blew Charlie a kiss.

Charlie leaned in and solidly kissed him, lingering a few moments before pulling away. "And you have to drive home. This should be interesting."

"You bet! Now get your ass in the car and I'll show you how it'll be."

Charlie put on a terrified face, climbing in the car. He strapped the seatbelt on comically, and grabbed the safety rung on the top of the car. "Ok, I think I'm go."

"Are you sure you're safe enough? Maybe you'd want Meghan's safety seat, huh?" Liam laughed, starting the car.

"Maybe we should deploy the airbags in advance." Charlie said, still terrified looking.

"Don't be stupid. You've been in a car with me in much worse a condition." Liam said referring to 'good' old days.

"Doesn’t mean I trust you now." He said, sitting as far away from Liam as he could.

"Fine." He drove for a while, not looking at Charlie at all. "You could have walked, you know. And you had come downtown without me driving as well." Liam teased.

"Ah, but as everyone I know has said, 'The last thing you need is exercise, Charlie Pace. If you walk, you'll drop dead, what with you not eating normally'." Charlie said in a mimicry voice.

"Yeah? They say so? Well, I wouldn't have to bother with a nagging brother then."

"You're horrid." Charlie said simply. "I hate when people bother over my eating habits though. So what if I don't eat properly, it’s not their problem. I'll eat when I eat."

"Don't look at me. I've given up telling you to eat long ago!"

"Still, you probably are one of those that worries behind my back." Charlie said, slumping in his seat. He didn't like being the way he was, he just couldn't eat.

Liam sighed. He hated that Charlie didn't eat, and he was worrying, but he as well knew Charlie just couldn't. "I'm sorry." He simply said placing one hand on Charlie's knee.

Charlie sighed. He'd never been normal, since the early band years. That masochistic streak that had given him bloody knuckles and wrists had never really worn off, though he did it in less visible ways to hide it from Claire. It wasn't that he wasn't happy, he just needed to feel that pain, whether it was of hunger or physical discomfort, it helped him appreciate his life.

"Erm", Liam moved his lips, thinking, "Don't... don't get me wrong, or better don't mind me at all, I'm drunk and tired, but, have you ever considered professional help?"

Charlie laughed. "Normally you'd be right, even drunk, but you've gotta realize something Liam." He sighed. "I've had help, my music is my help. Its the only thing that really gives me peace."

"Good thing your stupid brother isn't in the way anymore, taking it away from you." Liam still hated himself sometimes for doing that to Charlie and although sometimes he was thinking (dreaming?) of getting back together on stage with Charlie, he also wished Charlie would just admit he still hated Liam for doing it.

"Shut up already." Charlie laughed. "You have to stop blaming yourself. Things happen, obstacles that make our lives harder. So fucking what? What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, babe, and I'm glad to be as strong as I am."