When Liam first said he had wanted to start a band, Charlie had been psyched. He had immediately searched all over the internet for good band names, he tried out new tunes, and he started looking around for local talent. He was 13. The name had come one day at age 15 when Liam had finally convinced Charlie to try drinking, and he got a little wasted, waking up with the words "Drive" and "Shaft" on his hands. So at 16, the band started taking off. They got their first paid gigs, at a small school faire, for 10 quid an hour. They played for three. These were the best years of Charlie's entire life.

Ever since that day when he noticed his brother's song writing talent, Liam was living with the idea of a musical future for his brother. And furthermore, he asked him to teach him a bit. He learned some easy chords and Liam began to sing the songs his brother wrote. Only when he was 16 he first suggested starting a band. But it took them three more years to really start. Although he was scared before every gig he loved the band.

Charlie patted Liam's arm as he passed him, taking comfort in the brief contact. "You ready Li? We're gonna kick ass tonight." He bounced a little bit, already imagining how the practice would go. He had the rhythm of a new song in his head, and he had rewritten his part of the song, so that he got more of a part. He was excited to surprise the whole band with the new part.

Liam smiled at his brother. "Ready when you are, baby brother." he grinned. He watched his brother. He was cute to watch when he was bouncy, it made Liam smile every time. In times like this he would love to cuddle him like mad, but which 18 year old would cuddle his baby brother, not to mention how embarrassed the little one would feel.

Charlie met his big brother's eyes and smiled. For some reason, no matter how nervous he got, looking at his brother always made him feel safe. He winked cheekily at his brother before bouncing over to Sinjin and Patrick. When Sinjin asked Charlie to see if his guitar was in tune, he got onto his knees and listened while his friend played a few notes.

Sometimes Liam felt really jealous. He wasn't good enough to play guitar on stage - let alone his nervousness - so he had to watch when others - well, only Sinjin to be true - got more attention than he did. All because of damned guitars that had to be tuned. "Charlie, how about tuning my voice?" he asked with a broad cheeky grin.

Charlie looked at his brother sarcastically. "Liam, your voice is beyond repair. Sorry mate." He walked closer to Liam though, and waited patiently. "Give me the refrain please." He didn't usually tune voices, but he would try. "Just two lines of the refrain"

Liam made a face on Charlie's remark. They often joked about Liam's voice, but though Charlie had had singing lessons he'd only sing songs together with or merely back vocals. He felt stupid to be to give Charlie the refrain now, but he wanted to get Charlie's attention and Charlie went into it, so he'd have to.

Charlie raised his eyebrows as he waited for his brother to sing, tapping his foot as if impatient. Reading his brother's eyes was amusing, as they darted back and forth in a comical manner, obviously not expecting Charlie to have accepted his request.

Liam looked into a complete different direction, when he finally gave his brother the requested lines. He knew it wouldn't help, because looking into a different direction didn't make it easy for Charlie to him properly. But the foot-tapping and the raised eyebrows freaked Liam.

"What was that??? You sounded like you were being chased by a polar bear!" Charlie walked closer to him, placing his hand on Liam's stomach. "From here, Liam, we discussed this. You sing from your stomach up! Let it flow through your body, gaining momentum and volume." Charlie sang a line, starting from deep inside of him.

"I still don't see why you're not the lead singer. You guys could do great without me, you know?" Liam frowned; he pushed away Charlie's hand and went away. He locked himself inside the men's room where he thought no one would hear him and tried those lines again, over and over.

"Liam!" Charlie walked after his brother, obviously nervous about the time. "Liam! Where are you?" Walking into the men's room, he looked at his brother practicing his lines. "Liam, what's wrong? Look, you can do it if you just feel the music first. You just have to live the music."

Liam closed his eyes and sighed. Opening his eyes he fumbled in his pockets for his cigarettes; he took one out and lit it. "Think we should go to practise before running out of time, little." he said, looking at Charlie as if nothing happened and left the men's room.

Charlie sighed. He'd always been the optimistic one. Glass half full, always. Always positive, always trying to keep others smiling. It was hard to bear the burden of his older brother on his shoulders as well as all of that. Especially when his brother was always pessimistic. He ran his hands under water. What if he just... stopped being optimistic? What would happen? He turned off the water and shook his hands. Not paying attention, he didn't notice he had hit his knuckle on the sink until the pain had spread to his hand. He looked at his suddenly bleeding knuckle and smiled. Would it just be that simple?

Liam felt guilty. It was him who suggested the band. He loved playing music with his brother. And normally - although he hated his voice - he loved singing. And being head of the band never was a problem for him. But he just had a bad day - he didn't really now why, though - and that, mixed up with his constant nervousness, made him kind of aggressive today. He grabbed a beer and took a long gulp. His brother probably hated him for how he was acting today.

Charlie kept inspecting his bleeding fist when Sinjin walked in. Seeing the blood, the older boy came over, looking questionably at Charlie before asking what was wrong, and how that had happened. "Had a talk with Liam, then he walked away, and it just kinda... happened mate...I didn't even realize it until I felt the blood." He still smiled. He liked the feel of that pain, as much as he didn't. Sinjin watched him carefully, before leading him out of the bathroom to get a bandage, looking at him sternly all the time

Liam sat on the stairs to the stage when Charlie and Sinjin came out of the bathroom. His gaze fell on Charlie's hand which was partly covered with blood. A wave of shock ran through Liam's whole body. Bloody hell. That wasn't what it looked like, was it? Charlie'd never do something that stupid, would he? Especially not just because Liam behaved like an arse! Liam jumped up, approaching his brother. "Charlie! Oh my God! What happened, what did you do? Can you play? Shall we cancel? You okay?"

Charlie saw Liam coming and waved him off. "Yeah, I'm fine mate, don't loose your cool." Sinjin kept pulling him along, sitting him down in a chair and grabbing some tape. Charlie hissed as Sinjin blew on it, making it sting. He wiped it with a towel and put the tape over it. Asking Charlie to bend his fingers, Charlie did, grimacing but managing. "I can still play. It doesn't hurt."

Liam winced at seeing the blood, he wasn't good with blood. He got another fag out. "You sure you can play? I mean... it looks bad." Liam looked up and happened to meet Sinjin's eyes. He looked as if to say Charlie's no baby. He doesn't need his big brother to run around and treat him like one. With a heavy sigh and the feeling that maybe he was just trying to find some reason not to play that gig because he was nervous, Liam went away lightening his fag. But Sinjin's look was burnt on his mind. Right, his brother didn't need an overprotecting brother and Liam didn't need the others to know how much he cared for Charlie. He'd try to care less about his baby brother from now on.

Charlie sighed as his brother walked away. Sinjin looked at him questionably, smiling softly. He just nodded. He knew. Charlie looked slightly embarrassed, until Sinjin leaned in close whispering in his ear something about there not being enough love in the world, so one shouldn't be picky about sex or something. As the older boy drew back, he placed a small kiss on Charlie's lips, his first kiss from a boy. His eyes widened, and his heart pumped in excitement. He stood smiling, and grabbed his guitar. "Let’s go"

Liam sat down onto the stairs again dragging deeply on the cigarette. If he would be going to care less about Charlie, he could do what he wouldn't have done, just because of Charlie. He'd get away from home. He'd move to his own place. Next week he'd have his 18th birthday and then his mum couldn't tell him what he had to do anymore. He had been thinking about that before but shoved the idea aside, because of Charlie. But now he decided to do it. He'd move on, get his own life.

Charlie looked around quickly, trying to find Liam again, before walking outside of the bar. He breathed in deeply: the smell of beer and cigars got to be a bit much. He looked around quietly, walking around just a few steps before going to head back inside the bar, only to find Sinjin watching him. The boy walked closer, kissing him again before leading him back inside the bar, holding him close.

When Liam got up again to get another beer and a new pack of cigarettes he was quite to much lost in his thoughts and bumped into a girl. "Oh shit, I'm sorry." he said a little off guard. The girl didn't bother much. She looked at him for a while then asked him if he was to perform there tonight and if she might offer him a drink. Liam didn't need a second thought to say yes.

Charlie and Sinjin walked back inside smiling stupidly, but Charlie came to a sudden stop when he saw Liam talking with some bird at the bar. He sighed deeply before letting his friend lead him to where Patrick sat, drumming nervously on a table top. He passed Charlie a sympathetic look and inviting him to sit down. Charlie started talking to his two best mates and tried to relax until the announcer came.

When the announcer came and announced them, Liam smiled at the girl and gave her a wink, before getting up and - together with the other - going onto stage. Nearly the whole show Liam was far-distance-flirting with the girl by eyes contact. He liked that attention. And he knew he had some kind of stupid grin on his face.

They played decently, though not as well as they probably could have, as Liam missed as few cues for singing, because he kept making cow eyes with the lass he had been pulling before. Somehow Charlie knew Liam wouldn't be coming home until late tonight. He finished cleaning up his guitar (a little blood from his hand had leaked onto the strings, because the wound had reopened while playing) and walked over to Sinjin and Patrick. "Think you guys can give me a ride home? Liam's chatting up some bird, don't think he'll want to." They both nodded, patting him on the shoulder. Charlie went to go get his guitar case and turned to leave.

Liam looked around just in time to see Charlie turning to leave. "Give me second." He told the girl and wet after Charlie. "Hey, can Patrick and Jin give you a lift? I... er...'m occupied" He said, feeling uneasy to jilt Charlie. But he had made a decision, right?

"Was already planning on it" Charlie said harshly, walking away faster. "Have a blast Liam." He left the building, carrying his case high, as always. Never want to damage the instrument. His head, on the other hand, hung down low. He felt the optimism slide away from him, being replaced by bitterness. He looked down at his knuckle again, smiling at the blood before climbing into the van next to Sinjin, who immediately started kissing his neck. Charlie just closed his eyes and sat back.

Liam went back with a frown and downed his recent beer in one gulp. It didn't take much longer until Liam left too. But he didn't leave alone and he wasn't headed home. His tongue was already down the girl’s throat while they were making their way out of the bar. Although he already wasn't capable of thinking straight, he was still thinking quite a lot about his brother.

Charlie didn't go home. He didn't quite realize what was happening to him, he was numb. He let Sinjin take him home to his apartment (he had just turned 18 and somehow gotten the money to rent a pretty bad looking apartment in the middle of town) and then had just let things take the path they would. He let the man strip him down, kissing him soothingly the entire time, calming his deadened yet buzzing nerves. He didn't even really realize what was happening until it was over, but somehow he knew that this was one of the best nights of his life, the night he became what he would be for the rest of his life.

If Liam ever had had affaires with girl who were older them him, it was merely weeks or months they had been older. He wouldn't have thought the girl turned out to be nearly three years older. It had been a great night but Liam, if he was honest, had to admit, he had been thinking about someone else; someone male even; someone he was - quite literally - bloody familiar with. He had been imagining his baby brother's body instead of the girl's one while in action. His brother. He stared at the ceiling, trying to get rid of the thoughts about Charlie.

Charlie looked blankly over at his bed mate. He was starting to wake up as the Sinjin wrapped his arms around him, whispering things about how Liam didn't appreciate him and that he was a rock god, that he deserved the world and sent shivers down his spine every time he played. Charlie buried his head into Sinjin's chest, willing the thoughts of Liam to just die, and finally, as sleep began to take him, and a warm comfort washed over him, he did.

Liam considered leaving the girl's apartment quietly right now. But just as he move to get out of the bed she turned around, opening an eye sleepily and asking where he's heading. "Bathroom." answered quickly and went there, and afterwards went back to bed. She was still half awake when he came back and snuggled herself up to his chest. Finally Liam fell asleep too; and at least then, he hadn't to fight back thoughts about his brother.

When Charlie woke up, Sinjin wasn't next to him. "Adam?" He called quietly. A small cluttering was heard in the kitchen, so Charlie nervously put on his boxers and went into the kitchen. "Adam?" He looked in to find Adam making toast. "You ok..." What did he say? Mate? Love? What were they now? "Luv?" Ah whatever. Sinjin nodded and came closer to peck him lightly on the lips, whispering 'good morning' before he parted, asking if he was sore at all. "No, not really. Just feels different" It should feel different, he was different now.

Liam left in the late morning, after a quick cup of tea and the promise - probably wouldn't ever keep - to call and see her again. At home he was welcomed by his mum who already was in a very angry mood. She asked - no, rather yelled - where he had left Charlie, where his little brother was.
"I'm not his bloody keeper! He's no baby! I don't fucking know where he is!" Liam yelled back and ran up into his room. Standing in the door he added: "Anyways, You're rid of me next week!" He slammed his door shut and locked it. Where was Charlie? Liam felt bad. Charlie was to be taken home by Patrick and Sinjin, wasn't he? So where was he now? Liam was worried and his heart pounded like mad.

"I need to get home soon. I didn't mean to stay the night. My parents will be worried sick, shit..." Sinjin just kissed him on the cheek and went to get his car, just as Charlie finished his toast, putting on his coat as he dashed out the door after him. Once in the car, he bounced nervously. What would he use as his excuse? Maybe he could just say he just wanted to work with Sinjin on some new songs, or something along those lines. His parent would probably believe him, but he knew Liam wouldn't. Well, it probably didn't matter what Liam thought. He honestly didn't care. Honestly...

Liam was just about to call Sinjin when he heard his brother get home. He stood upstairs at the staircase, listening to what Charlie told his parents. He could tell it was a lie, some poor excuse. But they believed him. Liam didn't. He shook his head and went back into his room. But if Charlie decided on telling stories, it was his choice; he wasn't going to force him telling the truth. It wasn't anything of his matter though, was it? But he went back on calling Sinjin.
"Hey mate. I just wanted to know whether you'd know some cheap free apartment." Liam could tell by his band mate’s voice, he was surprised that Liam didn't ask about Charlie. Still he gave him the number of his landlady so Liam could ask her for some apartment.

Charlie knocked on his brother’s door, going in without waiting for an answer. "Hey Liam." He felt really nervous, he didn't even know why he had come in here, except he felt like he couldn't avoid his brother and he knew that Liam knew he hadn't done something right. "How was the bird last night?"

"Well, how was yours baby brother?" Liam replied with a smugly smile. Charlie looked like he had a bad conscience, which Liam found kind of funny. "Or you rather want to play me the songs you've been working on last night, huh?"

Charlie's eyes darted to the floor, a blush creeping on his cheeks. "Um... look, you cannot tell Mum. She'll fucking kill me! I didn't mean to stay all night; I was just going to come home after... fuck, fuck... I'm so fucking screwed." He needed to sound responsible, but he didn't know how. At least he didn't have to worry about pregnancy... but Liam didn't know that...

"Are you bloody crazy? I would ever tell Mum! Just be glad she believes you." He winked at his brother. "So? See, it's been better I didn't take you home. Or do you regret it?" Liam was smiling all the time. He knew it somehow wasn't right to feel amused when Charlie was - apparently - so worried, but he couldn't help it.

Charlie sat down on Liam's bed. He laid down and looked up at the ceiling to see a picture of a half naked girl poster on it. He couldn't help the shiver that went down his spine. Women were.... not for him. But he could easily lie. He thought about Liam's question. "Nah, I don't regret it really. It was great. I just... wasn't expecting it at the time... didn't even have time to be safe and secure about the whole manner, you know?" Charlie winked at Liam about the suggestion that he barebacked and just waited to see his reaction.

Liam's eyes grew wide. "Holy shit, Charlie! Are you serious? You're bloody crazy! Have you ever heard about pregnancy? You're only 15!" Liam went to his bed stand and opened the drawer. He grabbed some condoms out of it and tossed them at Charlie. "Keep them with you like your pics." He told him - what in Charlie's case meant all the time.

Charlie flailed as the condoms hit him. "Ahhh!! Shit!" He picked them up carefully and gingerly put them in his pocket. The sight of them made him glad he only liked men. He'd actually already been with a girl once, but he wouldn't tell anybody. Especially since it had been quite embarrassing. But he'd been safe then, brought a condom. But it was that day he decided women weren't for him. "Liam, how many do you have in there? Seriously, are you that much of a man-whore?" He laughed, watching his brother's face. "You pimp!"

"You just have to be prepared." Liam winked and attacked Charlie starting a brotherly fight. "If I was a pimp, you'd like to be some kinda client?" Liam asked laughing.

Charlie yelled as he was attacked, fighting back with his far lesser strength until he was completely pinned against the bed. "Fuck no! Why the hell would I want to sleep with someone as ugly as you, you fat lug?" He tried to push Liam off him but when that failed, he went for the old fashioned trick: Tickling.

Liam shrieked as Charlie began to tickle him. He most times lost their fights because of Charlie's bloody trick, but he still hadn't found an effective offensive against that old fashioned trick. "Don't ever call me fat again!" Liam gasped.

Charlie finally stopped tickling, looking at his brother playfully. "Fine, I won't call you fat." then adding in a whisper "but it’s still true." He knew he was asking for a beating, but for some reason, he missed this kind of childish play he and his brother did. It seemed like everything had to be so grown up now. He wanted some time to just play.

With Charlie stopping the tickling Liam gained enough strength again to free his arms and pin Charlie down on the bed again. He kneeled above him pinning Charlie's wrists down by his knees. "It isn't midget!" Liam grinned and began to box Charlie's chest - slightly, not to hurt him seriously.

"Argh!" Charlie yelled. He hated being called short. "Well, at least I've got more to brag about than you down where it counts!" What the fuck did he just say? Was he really comparing cock sizes to his brother? Oh, fucking shit. Now this would either get awkward or amusing, depending on how his brother took it.

Liam gasped. But then a broad grin appeared on his face. "Well, it's not all about size, it's about quality as well." he claimed and stick his tongue out. Then he cocked his head. "But... you're serious? I can't remember. Let's see." It was awkward, yeah, but they were brothers, this shouldn't be much of a problem.

"Well I've got quality and quantity my poor brother." He talked with courage, but his insides quailed. "Um... you first then." He bit his lip, nervously and expectantly. "You’re older, you should do it first."

"You're the show-off, why don't you get first?" Liam asked, however, feeling awkward. He sighed very slightly. "Okay, at the same time." He wasn't sure if was a question or an command (or a plea).

Charlie nodded hesitantly. He moved his hand to his belted jeans, ignoring the fact that he shook slightly. "Ok, ready? On three." He started undoing the belt. "One..."

"...Two..." Unbuttoning the fly of his jeans, Liam felt he was trembling a tiny bit. Suddenly he felt scared. Remembering last night, he knew that could be risky now. So he forced himself to think of the old nuns at his first school and everything else that would keep him from getting hard.

Charlie closed his eyes, muttering "three" before pulling his cock out of his boxers, into the open air. He gasped at the cool feel of the air in the room keeping his eyes down. It would be just like Liam not to actually bring his out as well, but Charlie had nothing to hide really. He knew he was a pretty big size for a 15 year old.

Liam's heart was pounding like mad for the second time this day. As Charlie closed his eyes, Liam considered chickening out, but that would just be ridiculous. Why should he hide? It was just fun. He reached into his boxers pulling his cock out as well.

Charlie allowed a small glance up, looking up at his brother's face first before looking shyly at his cock. He smiled a little looking at it. "I think I win Li." He giggled a little nervously.

Liam looked at Charlie, not daring glancing down until his brother claimed to win. His gaze shot down. "Shite. You're not kidding." He stated honestly amazed. "I hate you midget!" he grinned, pushing Charlie back down.

"Woah!" Charlie fell back onto the bed, looking up confusedly. "Let me at least get him back in first! You could rape me! You know you want my amazingly big cock." He started laughing hard. He would never forget knowing that he was bigger than his brother. "And I think you loose the right to call me midget, you wee little lass!"

Liam dropped onto the bed next to Charlie. "I'd never fucking rape you! You're my Brother, your male, you're insane!" Liam put his cock back, buttoned up his jeans and got up. Adding Charlie's size of cock to last nights thoughts wasn't exactly what Liam wanted, it just happened. "Gotta go piss" he lied and left for the bathroom. He was sure all this was something he wouldn't ever get rid of.

Charlie looked around his brother's room. All around, there were images of women in... interesting poses and of rock bands. It smelled faintly of old food and well, Liam. He bounced on the bed and wondered if Liam had ever had a girl in this bed, and nobody had noticed, or if he always went somewhere else. Curiosity struck him and he went over to the drawer where Liam had gotten the condoms. Opening it quietly he looked inside. Maybe twenty different packages lay in there, next to his underwear, a couple packs of cigarettes, and a small book. Picking up the book, he was surprised to see that it didn't contain phone numbers or pictures of girls like he'd expected, but pictures of Charlie and Liam, playing together or just messing around. He lifted the book out and brought it back to sit on the bed, looking through the pages fondly. They were from all ages, from babies to just a few days ago. He had no idea Liam had kept any of the photos that Charlie had taken of the band, but apparently he had. It made him look at his brother in a whole different manner.

Seriously, Liam felt dirty for wanking because of his brother. But he couldn't help it. It's been far too much during the last hours. He took a cold shower before going back into his room, only clad in his bathrobe. He was most surprised to find Charlie still sitting there. But what puzzled him most was the look on Charlie's face. It seemed surprised, impressed, touched, and guilty with bad conscience. Liam really didn't know what to think of this. "Anything interesting happened, while I've been in the bathroom?" He asked going to his wardrobe, looking for some fresh clothes.

Charlie lifted up the book. "Where did you get all these? Why did you keep them?" He was honestly curious, and more than a little confused. This was the most sentimental thing his brother had ever kept, that Charlie knew of. "Why is it in your secret drawer?"

"Fuck!" Liam muttered. He turned around and went to the bed, just near enough to snap the book out of Charlie's hand. Then he placed it somewhere into his wardrobe, and exchange fetching a jeans out of it. He didn't face Charlie anymore; he looked at the book while talking. "What the fuck were you doing at the drawer? You just said yourself, it's secret. Bloody hell!" One of the reasons he didn't face his brother was to hide the trembling on the corners of his mouth.

Charlie turned to him, angry. "What, we're brothers, mate! We shouldn't have secrets!" He could have laughed at himself, because he kept secrets from Liam all the time, but for some reason, Charlie was mad that his brother didn’t seem to want to care. "Where did you get those pictures? Why do you have them there???"

"You don't have secrets, do you? Come on Charlie, everyone has them!" Liam felt hurt, that Charlie was angry, just because he kept pictures of the two of them. "Can I not keep pics of me and my brother? Is that any crime?" he turned around.

Charlie flopped on Liam's bed, facing him. "I just don't understand why it’s with all your secrets. Like caring about me has to be a secret or something..." He sighed, rolling over on the bed. He was tired of fighting about this nonsense. He just let his limbs go dead. He was still exhausted from last night. He wanted to just fall asleep. He didn't feel well at all. He felt dizzy.

Liam wondered if he should kick Charlie out. But he was at home, no one would see if he still cared for Charlie at home. He put on the jeans and let go of the bath robe. Then he sat down on his bed next to Charlie. Lightly he caressed his back. "I'm sorry. I just don't know how to explain. Just... let's forget it, yeah? You know the book exists so it isn't a secret anymore, right?" Liam felt that Charlie was about to fall asleep and he himself was quite tired too. So he just laid down next to Charlie, but not facing him. Instead, he pulled a picture out from under his pillow, and had a single silent tear well up. It was their first photograph together, when Liam visited his Mum in the hospital.

Charlie subconsciously burrowed closer to Liam, feeling his warmth wrap around him. He was so tired. His arse still hurt a little bit, and he just wanted to relax and sleep in the comfort of his brothers arms. He didn't want to be mad. He just wanted to feel safe and loved. He glanced up to see the photo in his brother’s hand, smiling at it. "Its the birth of Driveshaft, isn’t it? Literally almost." He smiled, closing his eyes again.

Liam turned around a little bit. With the back of his hand he wiped away the dampness in his eye and smiled. "Yeah, birth of DriveShaft." He waited until Charlie had fallen asleep - which didn't take long at all, the younger boy must have been really exhausted - and then lightly wrapped an arm around his waist. "Birth of DriveShaft." he repeated and fell asleep soon too.